"Yes."

"Okay."

"And it's not my pants."

"Those aren't your pants?"

"No, Donna, I'm saying I didn't wet my pants or anything.  It's my pantleg that's wet."

"Do they teach you to split hairs at Harvard?"

"Nah.  Yale."

"Are you going to tell my why your pantleg is wet?"

"No."

"Because the only thing I can figure is that you tripped and fell into a puddle.  Or possibly a fountain."

"Fountain?  Why would you say fountain?"

"Because fountains are generally places where there's, you know, water."

"Right."

"So did you fall into a fountain?"

"No."

"A puddle?"

"It was a water balloon."

"You fell into a water balloon?"

"Yes, because at the time, I was about four centimeters tall."

"Josh--"

"A water balloon fell into me.  Can I work now?"

"Water balloons are just randomly falling from the sky now?"

"No."

"Did someone throw a water balloon at you?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Was it that Rotarian?  Because Sam said--"

"Ro-what?"

"Rotarian."

"The hell is a Rotarian?"

"A member of the Rotary Club."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"That."

"Yes.  You need to apologize."

"I really don't."

"Josh--"

"It was a funny joke, Donna!"

"It really wasn't."

"CJ thought it was funny."

"CJ was drunk."

"She was?"

"Josh, she had four margaritas!"

"She did?"

"You are completely unobservant."

"I wouldn't say completely--"

"Who threw a water balloon at you?"

"Amy Gardner."

"Amy Gardner threw a water balloon at you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because."

"You used your 'so you were a prostitute' hypothetical, didn't you?"

"No."

"Well, what did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did something?"

"Because.  You always do something."

"I do not!"

"Josh, there are, like, 7,000 pissed off Rotarians who would beg to differ."

"I tell you, Donna, I'm going to lose some serious sleep over that."

"Josh--"

"A cadre of Rotarians.  I bet they could do some damage with those dorky hats."

"Those are Shriners."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the fezzes with the things?"

"Yeah."

"Those are Shriners."

"Huh."

"Yes.  What did you do to Amy Gardner that made her throw a water balloon at you?"

"Nothing!"

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you are a cruel, heartless woman."

"You're really not going to tell me what you did?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Fine.  But I'm not writing any letters of apology for something I know nothing about."

"That was some interesting grammar right there, Donnatella."

"Go to hell, Josh."

"You've been talking to CJ?"

"Yes.  She's right."

"Go away."

"Fascist."

"Donna!"

THE END

11.28.01