How the hell am I supposed to answer that question?

Should I try "Why, yes, I am in love with my boss, who -- for reasons I have never been able to understand -- wasted several months of his life sleeping with you"?

How about "No, I'm not.  Whatever gave you that idea?"

A blunt "none of your business" gets me into more trouble than a straight yes or no, doesn't it?

Why does she want to know anyway?  She's the ex-girlfriend, isn't she?

Does she perhaps want him back?  Does she think that's a good idea?

Because, I ask you, how can she have known Josh since college, slept with him for all those months, and still have no idea who he is?  How could she never have understood about all the guilt he carries around on those beautiful shoulders?

Was that my mistake -- explaining what I meant when I said, "Josh doesn't leave"?  Isn't it something of a leap to hear "his sister died" and think "hey, his assistant must be in love with him"?

And even if I am in love with him, isn't that private?  Why does she think I would share this information, which I have carefully kept to myself for five years, with a virtual stranger?

How do I get out of this dilemma?  How do I manage not to answer an intensely personal question from a woman I know strictly on a professional basis?

Would it work, I wonder, if I went on the offensive?

"Why do you ask, Amy?  Are you?"

THE END

05.08.03